"The shapes of people," Jean-Paul says after some thought. "You wake up in the middle of the night and you reach over expecting a form, but it's not there. You can't consciously remember who you're missing, but you know there's someone."
He curls closer. "I understand. That's why I came to the apartment, to figure out how to be better. Which I have, although not in the way I was expecting." He inhales slowly. "You do right by me."
"Oh. Yeah. I know that feeling." With a sigh he opens his arms to invite Jean-Paul closer until the younger man's weight rests against him. "Sometimes I never figure out who it is. I just figure it's one of the missing bits."
Putting his feet up on the coffee table he sinks lower into the couch and lets his fingers piece idly at Jean-Paul's hair. Despite his reputation for being less than conversational, he does like hearing his partner's talk. "What were you expecting? Before your little trip home."
Logan in uniquely suited to any discussion of memory loss, of being forced into a life you didn't ask for. Jean-Paul knows he'll have to talk to him about it again soon, but for the moment he's content to melt against him instead.
"I was expecting a lot of introspection," he says, vaguely amused. "A lot of stern self talking tos. Then probably a lot of awkward conversations before I'd finally come home." Already the cabon is 'home.' "At least I got the last part right."
When Jean-Paul relaxes Logan smiles into his hair. Planting a kiss against the younger man's temple. It's all uncharacteristically doting to anyone who's never been this close to him, but the man undeniably loves being the thing his partner's come to rest against.
"Heh, you sound pretty introspective to me too," he smiles to hear the man consider this place here home. "And calm. Like. Weirdly calm for you. Which, I mean, I'm takin' for a good thing, but if you're high or something you better tell me before I start wondering if I'm taking advantage of you or something here."
Jean-Paul snorts and swats Logan's arm lightly. Apparently, some things never change. "Oh, like I'm a fucking spazz most of the time?" He nestles back even closer somehow. "Non, I'm not high. I got painfully drunk the other day but that was then. And you're hardly taking advantage, I'm still dressed."
He points at Jean-Paul with intently narrow eyes as if to point out the reactionary nature of that very remark as some kind of point in case. "Your words not mine, bub. I woulda said somethin' nice. Like anxious."
If he was so recently drunk and Logan can't smell it on him, he has to imagine the man must have somewhat recently showered. And as if to test that theory he drinks in the smell of him with his nose all but buried in Jean-Paul's hair. "You think I needta get your clothes off to do somethin' dirty t'you?"
His chuckling rumbles against Jean-Paul's ear before he takes a gentle little bite of the pointed top. "Love you too, darlin'," he murmurs like it's the worst kept secret ever.
"Speakin' of clothes. You or Kurt gonna help me figure out how to dress for this... wedding thing."
Jean-Paul whines, not having any words the second those teeth meet his ear. He hugs Logan tightly.
"I'd like that," he says." "Chrisse, that's soon. I'll have to coordinate wit' Kurt so we can make sure it's all decorated..." His mind is already trying to seize on details. "Ouais, yes, I'll dress you. You'll look gorgeous."
He sighs again. "It's not that I don't want to be there, I just... was trying to figure it all out," Jean-Paul finishes lamely. "Which is impossible. I do want to come back, I do. I'm just scared to."
"I know I'm a hypocrite to say it, Johnny. But you don't have to figure everything out alone, yuh know?" It's not just an invitation to come home when he wants to, but an invitation to say whatever's keeping him away.
When he says things like that it puts a little pang of fear in Logan chest. Not quite enough to inspire a fight or flight response, but enough to make Logan have to remind himself no one he's never held on to anyone he tried to hold too tightly.
Jean-Paul shrugs. "I don't know. To me, I feel the same, I feel like me. But we don't notice our own changes much, do we? So I worry I'll go home and the guys will... I guess think I'm different in a bad way."
The thought of showing someone you're not who they think you are conjures up a few recent memories still raw enough for Logan that he can't rush to placate those concerns.
With a sigh he squeezes the man protectively. "I know it's not easy to tell somebody you've changed. Or even that you're just... tryna be different... Give them some time to get to know you again. I'm pretty sure the guy we love is still right here."
"I am," Jean-Paul says. Even so, he wonders what little things he might do now that he never did before. "I am really stubborn, I can't have changed THAT much."
He hugs Logan tightly before he moves to disentangle himself.
"Let me tidy up and grab some stuff, ok? I'll come home wit' you."
He chuckles at that and makes a little show of pulling his mouth tightly shut as if refusing to be the one to say it.
"Really?" That wasn't how he thought this visit would end, but there's no hiding way it lights him up. "Course. Take your time. I mean it... all the time you need, darlin'."
It doesn't take him long to gather the things he wants to take back to the cabin. Although he could clean up his apartment very quickly indeed, he chooses to do it at a human pace to allow himself to settle into his decision. Soon enough he finds himself ready with his overnight bag.
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He curls closer. "I understand. That's why I came to the apartment, to figure out how to be better. Which I have, although not in the way I was expecting." He inhales slowly. "You do right by me."
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Putting his feet up on the coffee table he sinks lower into the couch and lets his fingers piece idly at Jean-Paul's hair. Despite his reputation for being less than conversational, he does like hearing his partner's talk. "What were you expecting? Before your little trip home."
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"I was expecting a lot of introspection," he says, vaguely amused. "A lot of stern self talking tos. Then probably a lot of awkward conversations before I'd finally come home." Already the cabon is 'home.' "At least I got the last part right."
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"Heh, you sound pretty introspective to me too," he smiles to hear the man consider this place here home. "And calm. Like. Weirdly calm for you. Which, I mean, I'm takin' for a good thing, but if you're high or something you better tell me before I start wondering if I'm taking advantage of you or something here."
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If he was so recently drunk and Logan can't smell it on him, he has to imagine the man must have somewhat recently showered. And as if to test that theory he drinks in the smell of him with his nose all but buried in Jean-Paul's hair. "You think I needta get your clothes off to do somethin' dirty t'you?"
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He has to smile - he's being sniffed and it's weird that it feels so comfortable. "Okay, point. You're depraved, no wonder I love you."
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His chuckling rumbles against Jean-Paul's ear before he takes a gentle little bite of the pointed top. "Love you too, darlin'," he murmurs like it's the worst kept secret ever.
"Speakin' of clothes. You or Kurt gonna help me figure out how to dress for this... wedding thing."
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"I'd like that," he says." "Chrisse, that's soon. I'll have to coordinate wit' Kurt so we can make sure it's all decorated..." His mind is already trying to seize on details. "Ouais, yes, I'll dress you. You'll look gorgeous."
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"Nothing too fancy. I like suspenders," he mumbles. Clearly he's willing to trust them with his wardrobe. To a point.
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"I'm glad to be back. ...you're going to drag me back to the cabin, aren't you?"
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The question though, leaves him planting a kiss on the man's head. "Naw," he murmurs. "I don't wanna keep you any place you don't wanna be."
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"What are you scared of?"
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"What's so different that you wouldn't?"
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With a sigh he squeezes the man protectively. "I know it's not easy to tell somebody you've changed. Or even that you're just... tryna be different... Give them some time to get to know you again. I'm pretty sure the guy we love is still right here."
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He hugs Logan tightly before he moves to disentangle himself.
"Let me tidy up and grab some stuff, ok? I'll come home wit' you."
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"Really?" That wasn't how he thought this visit would end, but there's no hiding way it lights him up. "Course. Take your time. I mean it... all the time you need, darlin'."
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It doesn't take him long to gather the things he wants to take back to the cabin. Although he could clean up his apartment very quickly indeed, he chooses to do it at a human pace to allow himself to settle into his decision. Soon enough he finds himself ready with his overnight bag.
"Alright," he says, resolved. "Take me home."